Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Best Cowboys In Town!

Cowboy Buddies!

My little cowboy :)

Little Nate and Ashtyn

The boys love to play together. They always get so excited when they know they are going to see one another. Nate is 4 and Chandler is 6 so there ages are great! They get along good and of course it helps Ashtyn and I are great friends too!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Shooting the hoops!

Regardless the weather my boys want to go outside, now this is not a big problem because I would rather them be outside and staying active. But on this saturday morning it was cold! We had good weather the week before and then all of sudden its cold. Now I wanted to stay inside and bundle up and relax but the boys had another plan. Austin kept reaching for the door knob saying "awside" and Chandler kept asking to play baseketball. Now I could have said no and made them sit and watch tv but then I would have two grumpy sad childern to stare INSTEAD I bundled them and myself up and we went outside to play. I looked at as spending time with my family and doing something I know they wanted to do and would have fun. According to the way Chandler plays he scored more points and won and all I know is we got excersise trying to play against a 6 year old :)

Playing in daddy's truck

I am pretty sure he made that shot!

My boy!
Daddy takes a shot!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

He is ready for the pool!

We were playing outside and he pulled this out of the building and decided it was time for a swim! Unfortunately there is no pool for us to go to right now but at least I know he is ready!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Me and Best Friend

My best friend likes to throw man size basketballs at his momma :)

I love my best friend so must! As he gets older I realize just how much we can get to do together and how much I adore his personality :)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Silly Hats!

Wearing silly hats!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

New Do!

Decided it was time for a change! Didn't want to go to crazy with a new hair look but I wanted it to be noticable for sure. I love it and think it looks great!

Monday, March 14, 2011


Carrots and Ranch for a snack can still get messy!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Long Journey Ahead

Friday March 4th, early morning around 5:30am I hear my phone ringing from the bedroom, I run into the living room to grab it and noticed my good friend, "A" had just called. As I turn to go walk into the bedroom it rings again. This time I answer and immediately know that something is not right. My friends voice on the other end is sounds broken, tired, and empty. She will not tell me what is wrong but that I need to come to her mother's house as soon as I can get my family together. I hang up and run to tell Landon. I get dressed, pack up Austin and we are on our way.

On my drive I kept thinking what could it be? Why would I need to come to her moms house and not her house? Why did she say she was at her moms but didn't mention Ryan? Is the wedding off? But then why couldn't she tell me? My head was spinning and as soon as I saw all the cars in the driveway my stomach dropped and I knew it was something big.

As I walk in they take Austin from me and my friend pulls me in the bedroom. She looks at me with pain in her eyes and says, "R" shot himself" "R" is dead" I froze and could not speak. I ran to my phone to call my husband and told him he needed to leave the house and come immediately. I ran back to her and she fell into my arms. We talked in the room for a while just her and I. I was trying to make sense of it all without asking to much. She told me her story about what happened how she tried to stop him and how she saw it all. My heart ached and I felt sick. Soon after that our preacher showed up to help give some helping words and advice. I tried to tell him most of what I knew so she wouldn't have to keep reliving that night. Then my husband arrived. I knew this wasn't going to be easy because they were close friends but I had to tell him. Even as I was telling him I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. He completely fell apart. He told me he had to leave and drove away in his truck. From Friday early morning until Sunday, I have been by my friends side for every moment. I even follow her into the bath room if I feel she doesn't need be alone.

Each time we had to visit her or his family I have to see there sad faces and experience there tears and heart ache, and each time reminds me just how real this all is. Her family has been sticking by her and his family has made it clear that they will always care for her and they will keep in touch.

They were engaged to be married in October and it breaks my heart my good friend wont be able to get her dream wedding she had already started planning for. I just keep thinking instead of picking out which casket he will lay to rest in, we should be deciding which car the newlyweds would have left in and instead of what "R" will wear to his funeral we should be picking out which tux fit him best. Instead of picking out flowers for his funeral we should be picking out flowers for there wedding. Instead ordering "A" a necklace in memory of "R" we should be ordering his wedding ring.

She has been through a lot and even though as traumatic as all this is I am glad that I am able to be there for her every step of the way. She has a long way to go for healing but there are so many people that love her and want to help. Both "A" and "R"s families have been leaning on one another for support. Both families have also made it clear that after he has been laid to rest they will not stop until his named has been cleared. Anyone that knew him know that the charges against him are false.

I have been thinking of memories and one that stands out for me was just last Wednesday, March 2nd Austin and I got to see them both at church. As we were leaving the church Austin reached out for "R" and wanted him to hold him. Then Austin poked his little lips out and gave "R" a kiss. That image remains with me because that was Austin getting to say goodbye and "R" smiled and kissed him right back. I told them bye and I would see them later...

It all still seems unreal until I see the pain in "A"s face then my stomach turns and my heart aches and I know its going to be a long journey for everyone.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Outside Playtime

Austin loves being outside. He will go to the door and say, "osid" and keep saying it until I get his attention on something else or I willing let him go. On this particular day it was beautiful outside so I decided some fresh air would be nice. We went outside and played and I got to see more of his little personality. I love just watching him sometimes and listen to him talk. I can't always tell what he talking about but he sure seems to know! We had a good time :)


He trying hard to get that door off!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I just had to do it!

                                                  Yes, I hope next time we have girl! lol